You adapt

You can't ever let someone have so much power over you. Truly, it sounds so much better on page than it does out loud. You can romanticize it all you want. Like fools do with War

I was down and out for the count. I'm back now.
Bought a new attitude- it was effing expensive.

The trick is finding control when there isn't any to be had. Thats step one. Thats the surviving-it part.

The next part is the choice. To Flee, to Fight, or to Forgive.
Thats the tough one, but once you make up your mind - you stick to it no matter what happens. When i say no matter- i mean no matter...

Then you pick up the pieces, this part sucks. You look down on the stain you left when you hit rock bottom, and you say - someone has got to clean that. You clean it.

Then you look forward, not higher than eye level and never below it. Forward. You occupy the mind not to distract it but to soothe it. To show it, that it can still work without something it thought it needed. Alot of "it"s here because that is all IT is about.

You don't give up. Failure goes from an everyday headache to a faint impossibility. It's as if you ate too much at a restaurant and on the way out you see other people eating, and you think, how the hell can people eat right now.
You've had so much hurt that while you are moving forward, you see things that remind you of it and you say "there is no way i can possibly partake in that again"

You smile, you thank the people that stuck next to you--- who thought they were helping.

You praise time because in the end that is all it took.

You move on

You live your life and you are stronger for it having happened than not having happened.

You leave the scar alone, you tell yourself someone with a horrible knife did this to me. I survived an attack on my way of life.
NO matter what - you never let anyone come at you like that again.

You live to tell the story.

Convos with a Stranger II

I swear to you that I do not make these things.





I walk into the Student Operations office at my college.....Mind you, this is summer school, so the only people going here are the students who are too dumb to not need the credit and the faculty that are too slow to find an excuse not to be here. An equation for disaster...


Me: ((walk in through sliding doors; I realize it is a ghost town except for one lonely lady -- behind a cubicle that I would not be able to see over, if I bent my knees))

Keep in mind---I'm not making this shit up


Lady: (on the phone) "yes, yes that sounds good" ... "Can we ask that you get one of those in, as fast as you can"...." No, none of that... yes, please"


Me: < (Thinking)> (Wow, she means business; she must be running this whole campus during the summer)


Lady: (on the phone still) "Please sir, don't make me repeat myself, when I say that's what I want, that's what I mean I want"


Me: < (Thinking)> "She's like the real-estate agent of Colleges, She's like the Sami Sosa of running schools"


Lady: (continuing on the phone) "No...Do we have to start over?"....."OK.....good."......"NO! Yes, extra pickles on the side.

"


Me: < (Thinking)> "Yes, the part of Sami Sosa that can order a sandwich"


Lady: (Hangs up Phone) "Hi, How can I help you"


Me: "Yes, We are about to have class in room 582 and the door is locked.

Class starts at 2:00


(The clock on the wall reads 1:58)


Lady: "Uh-huh"


Me: < (Thinking)> "Let me see, I mentioned the "what" the "when" the "why"...I'm pretty sure I've covered all the bases"..........


Lady: "Ok, I'll have to call a janitor and have him walk all the way to the 500 building and open that up for you.

"


Me: < (Thinking)> "Oh my, wouldn't want to inconvenience you as I can see you are very busy awaiting a sandwich with pickles on the side"


Lady: (Picks phone up, presses it against right where the shoulder and the top of her right breast begin) "Wait....Are you Faculty?"


Me: "No, I'm a student"......< (Thinking)> "That'ssss IT! I forgot the "Who"


This is where my twilight zone episode, turns into one of those that even the narrator leaves going "What the hell just happened?"


This lady starts laughing super hard... Not one of those cute little laughs that a secretary does sometimes when she makes a mistake...No this is like if The Nanny mated with a Hyena, and the offspring inhaled helium from a balloon and was then told the funniest joke in the world...


Me: < (Thinking)> "This is the kind of surreal shit that happens before someone dies.

"


Lady ...........”OH WHEW! For a minute there I thought you were faculty... OH if you were faculty I was going to feel soooo old because you look like you're 12 years old....
......


Me: <(Thinking to myself while she laughs over the voice of another lady no one ever loved, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again)..............."Wait, did that just happen"


Me:<(Thinking to myself)> "Listen here you overgrown office furniture, I do NOT look like I'm 12 years old...You see this goatee I took two full weeks out of my busy schedule to grow, trim, and perfect this here goatee...All so I wouldn't be reminded of my "12-year-oldedness".....You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to wait outside for your sandwich...When it gets here I'm going to take it and wait for the next fair...When the next fair comes to town I'm going to go to it and give YOUR sandwich to the guy who guesses my age and weight for money, because, that guy ---> THAT guy deserves a sandwich...Not you lady.




Lady: "Ok, all done, the janitor will be right over there to open up the door for you.




Me: < (Thinking to myself)> yes, for me and my 12 year old friends, so we can have Macaroni Necklace 101 and Nap time with post cookies and milk............ I hate you.



....
Me: "Thank you." (Leaves)

Convos at Summer School

Summer School has officially started for me and I had Biology this morning. .....It is the first Science class I have taken since junior year of High School...and this is why...





Here is what life would be like if I was friends with Science...



< ((Me, with a cup of coffee in my hand, I walk into a room where Science is sitting down....The following conversation would take place.

))>>



Me: "Hey Science..."

Science: "Hi, multi-celled organism, of the type homo sapiens, named 'Gui'"

Me: "Yeah...err, how it is going?"

Science: "Um, it is going well....Other than the fact that I am in a constant power-struggle with God, No one gives me credit for the invention of the universe, I have yet to explain the reason behind what you people call 'Morning Wood', I am boring yet highly complex - so no one really likes me, and I'm sick and tired of middle school fairs about me.



Me: "Wow Science, sounds intense......um, my day is going well, I’m just a bit tired and this coffee is too hot to drink"

Science: "Did you say too hot?"

Me: "....Yes?"

Science: "Too hot how? Like the cells in that liquid are moving too fast for you? What temperature would you like it to be? How long would it take for the coffee to be at a temperature that you would allow you to drink it? We should get nine cups of coffee, set them up at different temperature and then see which ones burn our tongues....oh yay, experiment time....Maybe after, we could dissect a pigeon--just for fun......How cold is this room? Did you know that will affect our experiment----not the pigeon one, the coffee one....how fast do you think the cups of coffee will get cold? At what rate? Let’s make a graph and give it Latin names--- don’t worry the Latin wont matter or affect the experiment at all, it's just something I do.............Is it "affect" or "effect"?...I'll ask ENGLISH when I see her...."

Me: "Holy Hell, you're fucking annoying"

Science: "Huh?"

Me: "You know what? I'd rather chug this cup of scolding hot coffee and burn my throat than hang out with your overly scientific ass.........Oh yeah, and tell your friend MATH, he's a douche bag"

Philosophy of Change

The Philosophy of "change" is not well-taught without fusion of a perception concept. We see the things we do as we want to see them. Hardly ever do we allow ourselves any limits accordingly. We are so strong-willed in how we perceive things that we block out external factors or logical internal ones. We choose to simply shield our mind’s eye. Like the man who raises his hand to shade his face. However, it is important to remember the obvious fact in this scenario that seems to not be so obvious when we perceive things. The man who raises his hand, does shade his face, but does not put out the sun. He does not invoke darkness; he merely partitions in his eye’s stead and assists them to perceive shade in broad daylight. The sun does not budge or even flicker in response. The only change occurs for the man, specifically in his perception...

We must also note that the "change" itself is not something to perceive, it is a deception and a counterproductive one at best. Understand this, things change, inherently they always will, we know this fact to be a constant. What we think changes often hardly ever does, at least not at the pace we perceive it to.

After such occurs, we could discover if we looked hard enough --- that the only change that in actuality ever took place, was the one within ourselves.

Convo with a Stranger

Ok...I love to post bulletins as most of you might know...NOT boring and mundane ones about "how shiny the sun is today" but some that I hope make people think....But I dont want to provoke just ANY thought, I want to invoke smart and productive thoughts.....This is the story of the last bulletin I posted....

The Following is the Bulletin I posted on 3/23/08 (Easter)

The trick to it......
On Sundays, we always feel that impending doom of the Monday to follow. Most of us live Sunday to the fullest, knowing that in less than 24 hours we will have to go back to school, to our jobs, etc.
Our Sunday is made significant and well rendered by our notion of Monday....
This should be the way we live our lives, everyday.
Sunday is our life and Monday is our death.
Live everyday with the impending sickness in your stomach like you might not make it through the next day. . . .
If only we could truly fathom this---Life would have its substance back, and when you lay in the bed you’ll lay to die, you’ll truly feel like your Sunday was well lived, and that the Monday to come, is welcome to do so.

Happy Easter...

The following is one of the many RESPONSES to my Easter Bulletin

Date: Mar 23, 2008 3:33 PM

""sometimes. i think you are full of hot air. yea know? like you just seem to be full of bullshit sometimes.
i think you are a very wise person, but seriously? this shit is nonsense. and the marines arent that shitty. (which is in response to something i wanted to say weeks ago.) but if the marines and our military werent saving our asses from other countries that hate us. who knows what the fuck kind of place we would be living in.
so maybe you should think a little bit about the "shit talking" you put out here dude. cuz They are the reason youre allowed to say what you want.
and you know a bit about me. im crazy liberal. i just have respect for the selfless few that can actually run our wars.""

The "Marines" thing she is talking about, is from a Bulletin Video which I posted which basically showed a Marine in the Middle East throwing a puppy over a cliff, and the subject was "Fuck the Marines"... (A bit harsh on my part, I do admit)

About 3 minutes after "she" sent the above message to me "she" posted the following Bulletin...

Date: March 23, 2008 3:36 PM
Subject: yay! holiday!

"yes. i am loving today. im damn baked right now and ive been all through lunch/dinner.AND i totally told my whole family i was..
HAHAHAHA
i had to bulletin this shit cuz its so funny."


Then I thought it was my turn to respond...
The following is the message I sent her.

Date: March 23, 2008 5:51 PM

Oh my, how I love conversation....I post a bulletin and then there are always ten or eleven people who comment on them.

However, what you have done is NOT comment back or share opinion or created argument. You have mistakenly insulted me....My turn...

I’ll make this real simple for you so your mind can comprehend my response...also because you just posted a bulletin following mine about how "BAKED" you are and have been all day...Yes, how credible you are for "conversation"..

HERE WE GO...

First and foremost you have stated that I am full of shit. I remind you they said the same thing about Galileo Galilei when he said that the EARTH was not the center of the universe. I dare NOT compare myself with Galileo, but just wanted to remind you that some of the foremost correct thinkers of their times were considered full of shit...BUT then again---if I am indeed full of shit, this entire paragraph I just wrote, means nothing. MOVING ON

THE MARINES....Yes, they die for our country, they sacrifice life and limb so that we may have the "Freedom" to speak our minds, and that’s all you and I are doing... right, practicing a right that someone, somewhere died for.....Right, is that why it took you "WEEKS" to say something...Was the life of the marine that died for your right to comment back about my "Fuck the Marines" bulletin a couple of weeks back SO not important to you that you waited days upon days to speak your mind....or was it the marijuana you just admitted to have spent the entire Easter Sunday smoking that made you puff up and obtain the balls required to take me on scholastically? Hmm, who died for THAT right? Who died for your right to smoke weed all day? Is there a marine base somewhere whose sole mission is to ensure your freedom to get "baked"? Please, let me know on that subject....

People (YOU) too often quote on how marines are "DYING" for our country...allow me to remind you of two things...FIRST--the "whole point of war is NOT TO DIE FOR YOUR COUNTRY....but to make the other poor bastard die for his" (George Patton said that...famous WAR GENERAL who might know more about DYING FOR ONES COUNTRY than some witless stoner who decided to ABUSE her rights and freely speak ignorance).. SECOND--- IF you have been paying any attention to the media, shit, even to YouTube OR if you have any friends who have come back from Iraq or the middle east

(((Ps--I have ten bucks says you cannot pin point Iraq or Iran on a map....let alone know where soldiers are dying FOR YOU....should this knowledge not pertain some significance in your life since you are so FREELY defending them?///Funny how we only use the things we think we know when it benefits US to do so.)))
sorry, I got side tracked---
BACK TO YOUTUBE AND THE MEDIA.....If you have been paying attention, you’ll realize that MORE American soldiers have been the center of war crimes, war atrocities, and stupid videos on the torture of defenseless POW (that stands for PRISONERS OF WAR) and animals out there in the middle east, than have "died for this country"....
I WILL SAY THIS....Those who have truly, bravely fought for America, God Bless them...THEY TOO most likely are appalled at the MAJORITY of their "brother in arms" and their absolutely heinous crimes against HUMANITY.....
SO MOVING ON...

You are a liberal as you have stated, I am not, nor am I conservative ---there isn’t a "limited category" for what I am...HOWEVER while stating that you were a LIBERAL you were also foolish enough to say "you respect the few who run our wars"....How ignorant for you to believe for ONE SECOND that a soldier on the front line actually RUN our wars...they, like the incredible soldiers they are---FOLLOW ORDERS. They do NOT run the war...Some guy, in a little WHITE house, sitting in a big desk, namely FROM TEXAS runs the mother fucking war...HAVE SOME RESPECT for those dying over there and REALIZE that the majority of them would LOVE to come back....

AND THEN Last but not least there is the comment you made about how other countries hate us....Hmmm, I’d like to thank you for showing the absolute ignorance and hypocritical and absurd comments and actions you’ve taken in answering my bulletin because this is EXACTLY what other countries hate about America. It’s the mentality you’ve displayed that answers your own question...However, A+ for your effort in trying, as hard you did, to invoke in me the feeling that I might be MISTAKEN about my "Shit Talking"....

Thank you very much for this insightful look into your life. I feel we have connected, Please do feel free to reply

--- Gui Fonseca


I patiently await her reply?...

Hope re-visited

I had the whole "Hope" thing backwards...

It is not a matter of substance, whose function is to be utilized in the looking forward of a possible happening. This hope is NOT...

It is a manner of getting over a disappointment... It is the best vessel to occupy and command when you find that, that which you had invested in is shallower than you foreseen and faker than anticipated...

Hope carries you through the muck left by the dreams she tore and the happiness she shriveled down. Hope lifts your feet - not to dream again - but lifts them high enough in order to not be affected... Much like a jump rope comes to sweep your feet out from under you, so does she--hope makes me jump in, avoid the rope artistically even as she swings harder than she can---hope keeps me standing while the rope slumps on the ground as her arms grow tired---hope puts my foot on the rope and whisper; "You fool, is that all you had?"...

Forget

Have you ever just wanted to forget something? Forget how you feel, forget what you've seen. Forget what someone said to you. Many have agreed that to completely forget something or someone is too big of a "cheat" to wish for. Others, who would have you believe that they are much stronger than they actually are would say that things "worthy of forgetting" are meant to happen and are meant to make you stronger because of it....you tell that to kid who stays up at night because he can't make his mind stop running, and tells his friends its insomniac so he can seem as normal as possible. If that's the "normality" he seeks, imagine then if you will how unmoral he truly feels

What if, you truly just wanted to forget how you felt?

Not hide it, or ignore it but sincerely -- forget.

Like a lost set of keys, with which, when lost, you know they are somewhere but you do not know where...First, a tensing and dark feeling of concerns creeps in, blotting out even the finest of sun rays and rose smells. You feel an overwhelming sensation of need. Thinking you need them more now so then ever before. Then you begin to realize that you might have a spare... and that the primary one which you have lost are not as important as they first seemed, or rather--- as you first made them seem...Then you finally come to the realization that you can barely remember what the keys looked like. Something that you gave the power to take up your valuable time and your important emotions---then seems absolutely irrelevant.

God, how I wish I could forget.... Like a set of keys, the same process the same steps but in a matter of seconds. I would gladly take this feeling and toss them aside. I'd forget them in the cracks of a sofa, or leave them at some distant location I'll never visit.... I'd walk away from them and leave them to starve out, wither away, and die. I'd forget the memory of them. The seconds it would take, they wouldn't even be difficult, id enjoy the process and welcome it as I would some distant relative. Someone I have not seen, I do not know, but need in my life.

I feel it has become necessary. I feel I am strong enough in all aspects of my life but not that of which the ones I need to be. Maybe those are the ones that I feel I need to forget........I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I don't want it to be a choice. By reciprocation and balanced fairness I should not be able to choose. Like the unplanned "forgetting" of something. I too should be able to find myself tomorrow, after a full night's sleep, awake and free of this weight that hangs on me..........Such is my life, hoping for the unlikely, having faith that the improbable could happen in a matter of seconds.........

Maybe it's not a selfish thing.

Maybe I want to forget you so that I can also... forgive you.

As I don't deserve the first part of that statement....You do not deserve the second.

Old Folk Tales

I knew an old lady once who found a dying snake on the ground...she picked up the snake and over a course of three years, nursed the snake back to health...At the end of Three years when the snake was well again....it bit the old lady....As she laid dying there, she asked the snake; "How can you bite me, after all this time of me caring for you and loving you"....As the snake slithered away it simply replied " I am snake"...............................The nature of some things cannot be meddled with. It said to not judge, whilst I agree, next time you see your friend-----> ask yourself if they are snake.

There is a balance of give and take between all things. There is a harmony that must be maintained for all things to remain in such sync. When you find yourself in a situation where there is more being taken then given. Cut it out. Whether it be a cancer or a selfish friend...Cut it out of your life. YOUR life is too precious to allow the balance to tip in the favor of those against you. In the same light, however, and in the spirit of the same equilibrium---do not tip the scale of others. Give as much as you receive. Men have earned glory in such ways.

Always remember, not seeing the scale is no excuse for tipping it. A friend should respect the rules of this system even without knowing of its presence. That is the friend you can truly count. That is the friend you can give and give and give and continue to give knowing in full faith that it too, shall be returned....

I've met a couple of snakes in my life time. I have cared for some, knowing that in the end a bite would come.......I just never...EVER thought you'd be a snake too......but then again, I guess that was the point all along.

Systems

Say with me that which they refuse to say for you...say fuck your system and your rules.

I'll take things and live each day as determined by me not this invisible force I see around the lot of you. Men and women constantly argue within, on their own presence and of what they'll become. A bit too much so.

I've seen men spend and earn fortunes, I've seen men earn them and then lose them. I've seen too much inconsistency to try and constantly plan out my existence....

The pressure is incredible, I see all my friends truly distraught because of a "what will I do with my life" conundrum eating away at their free will. The sad part is the unleashed problem comes from nobody but themselves...

Life, as fate would have it. Has a way of erasing or erecting towers of problems and solutions. In one minute, your entire life can be stripped from you before your very eyes. You spend all year worrying about getting into a 4yr college, and then you do, only to drop out and find something else you truly love instead. I say now, those moments spent worrying, hurting, stressing--what of them? You threw away those moments, you surrendered them to the dark questionable uncertainty and in the end it did not matter either way....

Life, so precious, yet, we waste its moments as if though we had enough to gamble with. Learn now that we do not...We do not have enough moments to gamble with....Learn this before that one moment where you realize- it is too late.

Random

How tempting, this void. I find its emptiness absolutely appealing due to the abundant population of people who stand in it. They constantly fill the void with nothingness…The worst is the concept of awareness. It refuses to enter the void. By remaining outside with me, it too, sees former vessels only lessened by the lack of its presence.

I refuse to jump in… I refuse to be a part of the same system that has robbed so many of the things they once needed to make themselves so much better. Can't you see? All it takes is one drop of substance to make this void obsolete.

Life must have meaning. We've managed to turn something we used to cherish, protect, and study into a free for all, merely dissected into 24hr sections. Do you give it as much thought as I? Do you, as well, fear that any single moment not well lived is a regrettable offense against all mankind?

If so, then here-- take back your awareness, and allow me to help you out of that void, my friend.

Voting 2008

We have all learned about political cartoons. Ironically these drawings which most often ridicule the government are taught to us by a like minded institution.

Anyway, the most significant political cartoon I can remember was so simple that you'd think it was capable of defeating its own purpose. No, this one was simple, but its message was compelling and analytically complex.

Imagine it now, as I saw it then. The cartoon was easily drawn in black and white. It was a split frame cartoon with one image on the left and one on the right. On the left was an illustrated man, heavy set, with a grin on his face. The man was wearing a "I Heart NY" shirt, he had on a head decoration which resembled the crown atop Lady Liberty's head, on his left hand was a foam hand cut-out with the index finger standing up (the kind you get at sports games) and it said "America is 1", in his other hand he carried a cocktail sized American flag. The image on the right was an illustration of a smaller and simpler gentleman, standing plainly. He had normal apparel on but was wearing a small button which read "I Voted"... Under the two drawings ran a subheading; "Patriotism".

It was so thought provoking. I loved it. It summarized much of the sentiments of the time. After 9/11 everyone bought flags and ran stickers about how "our colors don't run", everyone decided it was time for unity. Just like that, everyone identified an enemy and made America the new frontier to defend as a homeland. So many people wanting to prove their love for their country, but so few whom truly still believed in its functionality. The truth was that America became a great country in theory but a poor one in practice. So much so that an overwhelming number would die for its protection but only a few have lift a finger for its structural stability.

To me, the discreet cartoon summed this up perfectly. But now, it’s rather a depressing issue.

How sad is it that "the times have changed" can now apply to voting. Voting, you know that one thing that used to mean so much to so many.

Today, when those who are naive enough to still conform or those who are ignorant enough to still believe talk about voting, they play the same broken record. Words are used like "democracy, foundation, by the people, for the people, privilege, duty, etc." Someone please call these people's bluff.

You know what voting has become? Voting has managed to place itself as the biggest slap in the face this government has yet to deliver us.

Slaves have bared chains, broken their backs, and endured decades of oppression before being allowed to vote. As if thought they were below the concept. Women have been pushed around, demeaned, and made to endure inequality before having to fight for their vote. As if thought they didn't deserve the concept. In other countries civilians have to travel day on ends in crowded buses facing the threat of rebels in order to vote for their leaders. As if though the concept was too great to be left to them.

So much controversy has circled voting rights. It is the last bureaucratic line of defense between us and our government. It is our last non lethal weapon in the face of oppression.

Voting... An American tradition, an idea fought for nationally and died for globally. So what in the name of the free world was the 2000 election? I remember a big stinking' spit in the eye for anyone who had any hope left in the people's ability to voice our opinions to a government and not encounter a death ear. The sense of being let down was so thick, it was palpable.

Just like that, all we've worked for in this nation’s history was bought out. Years of planning, thousands of hours of secret meetings, countless worries, and indescribable amounts of blood, sweat, and tears. All that courage and effort it took to finally get the minorities in this country a vote. All of it, replaced by three "S"s combined with two parallel lines running vertically through each of them. ($$$)...Just like that, our choice was brushed under the carpet and the 2000 election was taken away from us.

Now, this is not an anti-Bush conversation. There are enough of those to gladly prove any of my points. This is an anti-voting one. Even if Bush had turned out to be the best thing to happen to this country, I'd still shout from the rooftops that he was brought to power by the worst.

I'd stand on principle that I, as well as the majority of the nation, was not heard. Even worse, we were silenced.

For once though, we made them feel what we constantly do. That gripping emotion, that overwhelming sensation and that realization that outside the comforts of our everyday lives, in distant corners we could never visit, was an entity more powerful than us. We made them feel that. We won...Even if it only lasted a weekend.

They took from us our voice. Every year since then, I have refused to give them the chance to do it again.

To vote is to put it into their hands. To give them the means by which to suppress us. They've done it twice (I’m not counting the thousand times before it) and we've lived under the circumstances of the outcome for the last eight years. Well, not again. I refuse to vote because I refuse to give them that power.

I continuously and patiently await the day they realize they need us. Not our votes but our dreams, our hopes, our visions. I will not vote for them, for anyone of them. Not until they stop betting against us, not until they respect us, and most definitely not until they realize their position only exists because we allow it to.

I should not have to remind you who drives this country forward...We do...and no one had to vote first in order for us to do so.

Save the planet...again

Oh My!

Everyone wants to save the planet....I get it; I’m totally down with it. Recycle, don’t litter, and use smarter energy use....

I do have a better idea than saving the planet, however. .. . . Save your soul first.

It’s not selfish....I get that if I plant a seed, a tree will grow, and my sons and his sons will have shade. I like the idea of that...

BUT I also realize that if I plant a seed of respect and virtue and honor...WITHIN MYSELF>...that tree will also grow and my son and his sons will in turn learn from me and grow such trees of their own.....They too will be provided with a shade that is much more valuable than any materialistic protective covering might offer.......

You want to raise awareness for some distant land, like my home of Brazil, where men cut trees down as if they could afford to do so...Well, allow me to raise awareness to their sons, I'll show them what their father are doing and I’ll plan in them forests ten times more productive. In turn they will shun their fathers and those before them who ever raised an ax against humanity....

You show me a spot where a tree needs to be planted, and I’ll show you a spot where someone has already failed to plant one.

Look within yourselves first before we look to the mistakes of others and those before us. Plant a seed, and nurture it. You'd be amazed. Just like one single tree can provide for hundreds of smaller multi-cellular organism, you too can be the support, strength, and center base for so many more things bigger than yourself.....Get out of your own way. ... .. . I'll go out on a limb (no pun intended) and believe in you...When will you start believing in yourself....

This has been a reflection by Gui Fonseca.

Take a pause

Just stop for a minute.

Take a really good look and feel rejoice. Of all the places you could be, from 6ft under to 5 to 10 deep. You are at a computer, (which we forget is a luxury), you are on MySpace and you have your whole life ahead of you.

Please don't become another statistic. Don't be "that guy" or "that girl" who thought they were invincible. Who thought it couldn't happen to them...

At work, I spend all day seeing all sorts of people. Most of them have no idea how good they have it. Whilst others know exactly how crummy their life is, yet still come in with a smile on their face and a glow around them.

People in wheelchairs who have to pull themselves up to get up, every day, and go through their entire routine just to be able to leave the house. In my eyes, they are so much "taller" than anyone else for it... So much taller than those who take for granted every step they take, who forget that to be "able to walk" is a concept some live only in hope for.

At the same time, these women come in. these gorgeous women, real young,--with a stroller and baby.
The baby part isn't the problem. I’m not implying that to have a baby and be young means it was an "accident". I know of families whom are real young and are all the better for it. Besides teen pregnancy is such an issue these days, I’d dare not beat a dead horse over it.......... It’s not the baby; it’s the assholes they come in with, the "fathers" who treat them like shit because they know the mothers aren't going anywhere. It's not like when they first met, and they "hope" and "want" was in the air, every breath was taken carefully and every word chosen diligently so that you could show the other person you cared...But not these guys, not anymore. And in the mother's eyes. If you look deep enough, you can see a kind of dull pain, like "I refuse to stop for a minute and think, cause I know how sad I’ll be"...

Little girls come in and spend 400 dollars of Daddy's money, great for us, but so sad for them. To not know the value of a dollar, to think that to be able to do walk into a store and walk out with whatever you chose is a RIGHT that she has. To argue with her father if he says she can only spend two hundred instead of four.

Then there are certain minorities who come in. This is my favorite part of the day; it’s so beautiful to see the mothers and fathers teaching their kids the value of a dollar.
-----The girl brings up some stickers and some nail polish, after I ring it up and give her the total, she looks at her mother in a "am I doing alright so far?" kind of way...Then she pulls out a rolled up twenty, which is just so obvious that she has been holding and pondering where to spend. Knowing that every cent she spends today is one she will not have tomorrow.

My heart breaks every time, cause behind this little girl, impatiently waiting, is the other kid who is about to drop a couple hundred and expect to do the same tomorrow.

All I’m saying is that we are all in this together. God, how many times have we heard that one.....but when will it sink in? We take things for granted. Every day, I step into the shower, and I thank God (you may thank whomever you chose, even yourself) for all the things I should be happy for. To start, running water. Yes, seems rather silly doesn't it. But try and spend four months in the slums of Rio and see how "silly" running water is. You have to be thankful for it all. Just in case, for whatever reason you can no longer be grateful for those things, you at least enjoyed them and really appreciated them while you could.

On a last note...Please, PLEASE be grateful for your education. I am so scared for the future. I'll have to worry about my kids being raised in a world run by guys and girls who spent their entire teenage lives getting drunk and smoking weed. By people who drove fast, broke the law often, and fucked their friends over like it was the fun thing to do. Please educate yourselves. AND IN NO MEANS do I present this to you from a "I’m already educated" stand point...I'll continue mine, in the hope, that your kids may grow up in a world run by people whom read this blog and where changed by it. Is it such a dismal hope? I'll continue my education for all of you as well as myself.

-----Because in the end----we are all in this together.

Mr. Columbus, thank you for the holiday

If we had allowed the story of Christopher Columbus to be written by the natives of the very land we stand on, we would now have a much different view of him. This is a perfect example of the Ethiopian proverb "Until lions have their own historians, the hunter will always be glorified".
Christopher's story, which we are forced fed to believe, would have us believe he was a noble pioneer. If only the pen which wrote his story was in the hands of a Native American, not of a Spanish historian.
In a twist of event, which pleasantly favors pure honesty over someone's version of it, we got the full story on Mr. Columbus. Imagine for a moment if we had not. If all his atrocities and injustices had been erased by time and forgotten. Those who have the time and resources to write a complete works of their time are the ones who can write about those around them. The Native Americans could barely afford to do such a thing, on account that they quickly became a hunted and persecuted people by a vast quantity of outsiders. That's what it all boils down to; it’s about majority and minority.
The majority has the luxury of appointing writers to their cause, they get to be judge and jury in a mental trial we never hear about it. He or she gets to decide whom the majority is and what they want to hear. In some cases they don't even do it subjectively. A faulty notion, which presupposes that history, can be ignored or emphasized and then standardized. Like hunters, their stories become about how important the thrill is or how vital the control of overpopulation has become. The lion knows, however, that the thrill is one they fear and that overpopulation is a made up factor by those who can afford to do the exact same themselves.
As a notion taken from The Blood of the Martyr points out, there is still a distant hope however. We lions might be in the minority for now, driven and controlled by much greater forces but we will always know what which the hunters do not. The power to endure harm will always outlive the power to inflict it.

The Individual

There are organizations and corporations, governments and nations. We despise connections and affiliations.

It seems that no matter what happens in our community, in our state, country, or world we must always put the blame on something greater than ourselves.

I believe this to be a mistake and a counterproductive one at that. Which is why I strongly believe in the individual. I am of the mindset that a corporation or a nation is not necessarily to at fault for its doings.
This is not to say that it is excusable or that no one should be blamed. As a matter of fact, my belief is the exact opposite.
I believe that to be able to blame a "whole" as we so often do, we owe it to the principle of justice to take a much better and more detailed view. The individuals whom make up such said entity are the ones to blame.
We must stop blaming unsafe cars for auto deaths, guns for homicides, and the media for teen violence.
I believe in the power of the individual enough to know that even in re-occurring situations the individual should be given the credit for fault. All individuals involved of course. This belief I have is uprooted from the lack of actions and most importantly from the inability most individual show to realize how important his or her role is.
Once we realize that the individual is the one to blame, we give the individual power. As soon as we realize that what we do affects us, and those around us the sooner we will stop running from inaction on the grounds that "only one person cannot make a difference".

I strongly believe that the individual is capable of anything, that one can empower or enslave millions. All one has to do, is get out of one's own way.

Energy in a can

I wonder how many of you are reading this with an energy drink in your hands. How many of you have drank one today or will drink one before the end of the night. The question then becomes how did America ever survive the century without a Rockstar or a Red Bull in their hands? How did we fight in two world wars without the aid of allies such as Monster and Amp?

If you haven't picked up on the satirical essence of my writing then allow me to make myself clear. This nation has prospered and survived through many decades without the need of ginseng, maltodextrin, inositol, carnitine, creatine, glucuronolactone, or ginko biloba. Yet, here is everyone making these things part of their daily diet. What has changed?

Time has not made a need for energy drinks. Days have not gotten longer, hours have not made themselves heavier, and in no way has a widespread epidemic prevented people from functioning normally. What is the cause?

Why is the nation suddenly so tired, or in other words why do we feel we need more energy?

"Are you tired right now? Well, then of course you need an energy drink. Wait, what's that? You say you went to work from six in the morning to four in the afternoon and then went to school from five in the afternoon to nine? You are tired? Something must be wrong, drink a Red Bull right away. I hear they do something with your mind and then make you fly. What's that? Tomorrow you’re planning on getting up at five in the morning but when you get home at eight in the afternoon you want to stay up all night and play Halo 3? Of course, the answer is Rockstar."

Come on people. We only drink energy drinks because they are readily available for us to do so with them. They have become the alternatives for coffee and maliciously so. We too often forget that we are not machines, our bodies has ways of letting us know it needs something. Feeling a growl in your stomach is a signpost that your body needs nutrition, a small pinch at the bottom of your bladder tells you to get rid of waste by urinating, and feeling weary and slow is no different from that. Our body has to make us tired to let us know it needs sleep, not energy from an outside source. Yet at the first sign of tiredness, we do exactly the opposite of what is good for us.

There are some, jacked up on energy, whom will argue that times have changed and with it have the needs of the people. That life is different than it used to be and therefore we need substances to help us get through these different times. To them, I calmly exalt, "Erroneous". Whilst it be true that times have changed, they have only gotten easier for us. Everything from the toaster oven, to the remote control, to the iPod, has made our life easier. Things have changed for the better and in accordance with facilitation.

To say that this is the reason behind America's obese problem is an understatement, but luckily for you I will not be sweating that issue quite yet.

Life has gotten easier (technically speaking) and therefore the need for more energy and less sleep cannot be accredited to "the times have changed".

I imagine it's just in our nature. The irony is that we constantly invent and adapt things to go against just that, our nature. We don't want to age, we want to eat everything and anything while still maintaining our figure, we want to calculate evolution, we want to be awake for days on end and feel no side effects, and on top of it all we want all of these things sooner than is theoretically possible.

Why must we continuously fight the things we know we can accept? Or better yet, the things that take less effort to fix our selves. If I eat less, I will not get fat. If I sleep more, I will not be as tired. If I take care of myself, I will age naturally.

The road, which is harder, the road "less traveled by" as my friend Robert Frost would say is the one that truly matters. All our actions have consequences, we might be beating nature, but in turn we are naturally beating ourselves.

Muscle V. Brain. The irony

What is it to have all muscles and no brains?
Why is it that fury must be the fighting element against rage.
We continue to make these the rules as if we have to; we continue to follow them as if we were meant to.
"A mind is a terrible thing to waste" it is often said but nobody ever enforces that rule. Do we shun the idiots who cannot think for themselves or do we warmly embrace them because of their entertainment value.

Why, like a meaningless puddle do we stay in the same place unless a force is thrust upon us, common depth = shallow.

But there is hope... I know, it’s amazing, as soon as a candle goes out our eyes automatically shift to the lightest area in the room. No matter how dim, how unstable or how pathetic the lighter area may be we still look to it in our journey for salvation.

Now, continue to follow along because wisdom will set you free and knowledge will give you the strength to roam around. We cannot continue to accept the things we can change. We must live this life as if though tomorrow is our last. Stop the ridiculous notion that what you do does not affect your neighbor. Morals, Honor, Dignity, Love, Peace, Respect, and Equality.
Men, much superior then myself or you, who deserved much more then you and I have bled and died for these principles...How subtly decaying is what we are doing.

What is it to have all muscles and no brains?
Why is it that fury must be the fighting element against rage.
We continue to make these the rules as if we have to; we continue to follow them as if we were meant to.
"A mind is a terrible thing to waste" it is often said but nobody ever enforces that rule. Do we shun the idiots who cannot think for themselves or do we warmly embrace them because of their entertainment value.

Why, like a meaningless puddle do we stay in the same place unless a force is thrust upon us, common depth = shallow.

But there is hope... I know, it’s amazing, as soon as a candle goes out our eyes automatically shift to the lightest area in the room. No matter how dim, how unstable or how pathetic the lighter area may be we still look to it in our journey for salvation.

Now, continue to follow along because wisdom will set you free and knowledge will give you the strength to roam around. We cannot continue to accept the things we can change. We must live this life as if though tomorrow is our last. Stop the ridiculous notion that what you do does not affect your neighbor. Morals, Honor, Dignity, Love, Peace, Respect, and Equality.
Men, much superior then myself or you, who deserved much more then you and I have bled and died for these principles...How subtly decaying is what we are doing.

I come into the living room today to find both my roommates laughing their asses off at something on TV.

Expecting the usual "ViVa La Bam" or "Family Guy", I didn’t even give it a second thought as I continued into the kitchen.

After the second "Gui, you gotta watch this", I decided to take the bait and mosey on into the living room.

Here is an account of the events that followed:

Realizing that my buddies were watching NBC NEWS I was definitely intrigued.

Two college kids watching the news for entertainment is rare.

Allow me to rephrase.

Two sober college kids watching the news for entertainment is rare.

Moving on, NBC news was hosting a segment called "Catching Predators". Basically, they got a reporter to "fish" for predators on the internet.

He did what any self-respecting predator hunter would do; he made up a screen name and pretended to be a 12 year old girl.

Going from chat room to chat room he "wooed" older men to engage in sexual conversations.

Yes, the men knew "she" was 12. No, they did not care

The "12 year old girl", after a few days of conversation

(what a 12 year old girl talks about that doesn’t have to do with her immediate surroundings is beyond me),

then asked for pictures of her new found friend.

As any idiot who carries on sexual conversations with a 12 year old girl would do, the men sent pictures of themselves.

The reporter then sends pictures of the 12 year old girl he is pretending to be.

The guys, I imagine from lack of better conversation topics, suggests to the 12 year old girl to send more pictures, only this time with less clothing.

If the men aren't cocksure enough to initiate such an idea, the reporter helped things along.

The reporter says "she" will, "ONLY IF" they do it first.

Now, there comes a time in the life of a pervert, where he must decide "am I willing?” The problem is a pervert has problems with the next part of that question "am I willing to......” normally the next part of such a thought is filled in with something beyond their own limits.

In this case it was simple "am I willing to send naked pictures of myself to a 12 year old girl, so that I, in turn, can see her naked?” We can’t blame the perverts for not seeing the obvious connotation and the obvious answer in such a conundrum.

Maybe we can't blame them, but we can sure as fuck call them ignorant, and in doing so the ignorant men sent pictures of themselves with no clothing.

Anyone who has ever seen a C.S.I. episode or even heard of a court trial is familiar with the term "evidence".

Not the poor, sheltered perverts, they must have been busy with much more important things when all of us, normal people, got the memo on how relevant "evidence" is...

After, what I imagine to be an hour of two of "posing" for their camera, MySpace style, each man sends a picture of himself. Keep in mind that this segment "caught" at least 20 different "predators"

IF your still with me, good, this is where it gets fun.

The "girl", instead of sending nude pix, decides she wants to have sex with the guy... yea, the reporter is no longer posing as a regular 12 year old, apparently this new and improved 12 year old "bait" has decided that one picture has made her horny, ready, and willing.

She gives an address and says to come in through the back door at a certain date and time.

As any media would, they set up the cameras and waited.

Each man was given a different day and time.

No, sorry no gangbangs were scheduled.

As the man arrives, he finds himself in a kitchen,

after a few seconds of perverted curiosity; the reporter comes out into the kitchen.

Without hesitation the reporter calls the fool by his Screen name.

Some are smart enough to bolt out of the door they came in through.

Some are smart enough to play dumb to the whole thing.

One guy brought a handle of Jim Bean

one guy argued that it wasn’t him, he was lost, wrong house. After the reporter shows him the pictures of himself naked, the man says "look, I came here to tell her I’m too old for her" (he was at least 24 years old).

One guy takes his hat off and says "look, I didn’t even shower, if I had come here for sex, I would have at least showered"

At least six guys fell outside while trying to run.

The best part is that there were no smeared blobs over their face to "hide identities". Oh No.

So I can’t imagine what tomorrow (the day after the segment aired), what the day will be like for the 20 some guys I saw on TV. We are talking Dads, Brothers, Husbands, Workers, Sons, Uncles, Etc. and every single person they look at face to face they will wonder, did this person see me last night on the news.

Do they deserve it; I'll let you be the judge of that.

Just thought I’d share that. With this whole MySpace thing being so popular, it doesn’t help to be careful every once in a while.

Until then, stop talking to 12 year olds about sex. I mean what the fuck?